Amongst the work for our documentary there are still class assignments to get done, including a reflection paper I decided I’d quickly work through yesterday morning before class. Sitting outside in the warm rays of morning sun I stared blankly into space processing the assignment, to write a paper on how the elements of Christian culture in the Dominican Republic had an impact on me. Where to even begin? How to even encompass all the incredible ways the faith of these people has inspired me? And beyond that, how can I make it have lasting power? How can I make sure its impact causes me to act?

Even now as I sit here processing as I write, I am frustrated by my lack of movement just a few days shy of one week back in the states. I am frustrated by my ability to have fallen back into the same patterns as before, an American Christian, only fitting God in when it’s most convenient for me. I wish to have the boldness of Gladys as she sat up with God every night before bed, I wish to have the strength of Cien Fuegos, a community truly rooted in a foundation of God’s love. I want to be a Dominican Christian, living out intentional faith in every day, in all that I do.

While I realize this is a lofty goal, it is no harder nor easier than dealing with the tremendous ways this trip has affected my views on most everything that I see. Countless times this week I found myself thinking about the Dominicans, the injustice they face and their inability to escape it. Although I originally felt guilty for being able to leave  the DR, when so many Dominicans will never get that chance, I have realized that a part of me will always remain with those people, and as Kyle once told us “its up to us when the experience will end.”

So long as their are children to remind me of those in Cien Fuegos and Majagual, so long as there are houses to compare to those on the international highway, I will forever be reminded of the Dominican Christian, showing and striving in faith. With these things and the timeless presence of God in my life, I can be confident that the experience of faith is one that will surely never end.

Titus 1:2, Matthew 17:20

- a.e.

*photo courtesy of Emily Hanigan

These last couple days I have been anything but put together. My mind is constantly unsettled as I go from one thing to the next, purely just going through the motions, not fully engaging myself in anything that I do. I found myself shaking my head as we flew into Chicago Friday night, noting the mansions, swimming pools and golf courses dotting the ground below. I found myself angry that the KFC replaced the work out equipment, perfectly functional but now a few years old. I found myself breaking down in tears as I sat behind the observatory overlooking the Omaha skyline at the place we’re blessed enough to call home.

And yet, the time I spent in the Dominican Republic was continually filled with the presence of God, from the smiles of the children, to the deacon who has changed their lives. From the welcoming arms of strangers to the images of poverty in its most extreme form, this culture’s faith in the Lord is unfaltering, their hope in a better life to come. And they keep working, day in and day out, because as Pedro said in his interview, if there is one thing the Dominicans know how to do, it’s how to survive.

Now in my “familiar” world which I was so eager to run back to I find myself more uncomfortable, unable to easily deal with all that we have. Why is it that the Dominicans who have next to nothing to their name are so eager and willing to openly profess their love of the Lord? Why is it that we as Americans who live in a world of excess, a world of sturdy buildings and indoor plumbing, can’t stop to pray before our three square meals? Tonight, I have no answers, and I may not have any for awhile to come, but the unyielding faith of these people is eye-opening, heart-breaking, and I’d say it certainly a poses a worthy challenge for us all.

James 2:5, Hebrews 11:13-16

- a.e.

In picking pictures out to take with me I was trying to be very conscious of the pictures I chose, wanting to show the important people in my life, not flaunt all that I have been given. But even from the few pictures I chose there is no doubt that a person who looks at them will be able to tell I’m certainly not deprived. Even the fact that my parents were willing to send me on this trip in the first place is a testament to that.

So what is my role then? Where am I going, and with what purpose? I don’t want to come back from 12 days in a third world country and find that I didn’t embrace every opportunity and allow myself to grow. Then again, I don’t think that will happen. Spending time in a place where so many have so little will be extremely humbling I’m sure, as I realize just how much I take even the simplest things for granted every single day.

For the next 12 days, May 31st until June 11th I will be in the Dominican Republic, shooting a documentary, spending time on the Haitian border, and living in a campo where I will try my hand at pouring concrete and building latrines. In listening to the sermon this morning on Trinity Sunday, I couldn’t help but try to think about how the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit fit into the journey I’m about to embark on.

God the Father is a relational God, the God who wants to be in a relationship with us personally, and wants us to share that relationship with others. God the Son is a tangible God, relating to our humanity and walking with us side by side. God the Spirit is what inspires us, that glimmer of hope that nurtures our faith. All three of these together however, is what leads us to the ultimate purpose of human kind, to glorify and fully enjoy God forever.

I can only hope that within my adventures these next couple weeks I will remember the importance of each, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, as I seek new relationships and walk side by side with those in need. In seeing my words and actions I wish for all those I encounter to catch that glimmer of hope and join with me in glorifying and fully enjoying our dynamic, all-encompassing, inclusive and ever loving God.

Isaiah 41:10, Romans 5:1-5

- a.e.

**If you wish to follow my adventures check out our class blog at backpack.creighton.edu, it will be updated throughout our trip!**

There’s something about Moms and Dads that is an unexplainable, the bond between parent and child unlike any other that we’ve ever known. I cannot begin to tell you how much my parents mean to me. I have been lucky enough to be given two of the best parents in the entire world, I am convinced of that. My father is an incredible man, who loves his wife and his family with everything that he has. My mother is an amazing woman, filled with love, laughter, smiles and wisdom, always thinking of others before herself. I couldn’t ask for any better parents and role models, and the best part is, they are truly my best friends.

It was because of these things that all day today, I was as impatient as a child waiting for an ice cream cone, hardly able to sit still. It is interesting to think though, that the incredible parents I have been given were no chance nor accident. I am convinced that God gave me these parents because He knew they’d be the perfect match, giving me more than I ever needed and gently guiding me in all that I do. He trusted me in their care, and trusted that their love as parents would be a direct reflection of His. Boy, was He ever right.

So why is it then, that I’m not giddy with anticipation to spend time with my Heavenly Father, just as I was in awaiting my mother’s arrival today? Why is it then, that when I need someone to talk to, I turn to my speed dial before bowing my head? God gave me incredible parents to love and care for me, but most of all, as a reminder of the ultimate love that only He can provide. Just as our parents are blessings we are given, well deserved or not,  God’s love doesn’t have to be earned, it’s unconditional.

Though anticipating God as we may anticipate our parents is not quite the same, His desires definitely are. Using parents as a vehicle for his love, God shows His passion for us, His desire to know us, all the while providing gentle guidance in all that we do. Though I can only hope it will be a few more years before I get to meet this incredible Father, I’ll continue to wait in anticipation, giddy and full of the love for the incredible parents he has given me for now.

Proverbs 1:8-9, Deuteronomy 5:16

- a.e.

Throughout my childhood, whenever my mother and I would get in a spat, which quite frankly wasn’t very often, it seemed to always end with me saying “Stop yelling at me!” despite the fact that really, there was no yelling involved. Growing up with four brothers, I learned at a young age that tone of voice can have a big impact, and used it to my advantage whenever possible. Using my sweetest voice to get my way, or whining at my parents for some privilege or another, I learned that there was a voice for every occasion and that learning to use them correctly could be hugely beneficial.

Now a bit older, I’ve come to realize that tone of voice can still go a long way in almost any situation. When talking with a friend, being willing to joke around and laugh things off can smooth over otherwise tense situations. When stressed and strung-out, snapping back at a loved one can make them feel deflated, when the sharpness wasn’t necessary nor due to them in the first place. The problem with technology such as texting and e-mail is that tone of voice is lost “in translation”, and sometimes sends the completely wrong message.

Listening to the sermon this morning on Pentecostal Sunday, I began to think about how cool it would be to be in the same situation as the disciples at the feast of Pentecost. How cool would it be to walk into a room of all sorts of different people from different places and all of a sudden be able to understand every word? And yet, as I thought about it, I realized that we have the chance to do that nearly every day. No, it may not be as radical as having tongues of fire floating above us everywhere that we go, but think about the language we have been given, and how far too often we allow our very own language to get jumbled and lost in translation.

As members of the community of Christ we have been given an incredible common language, one of love, tenderness, understanding, grace and forgiveness. While we may not always understand why we say the things we do, filled with the Holy Spirit, we are given the opportunity to use the one language we all know fluently yet don’t use nearly often enough, the language of love.

Acts 2:17-21, Philippians 2:1-4

- a.e.

Sitting down tonight to finally buckle down and do a bit of homework, the whole reason I’m on campus right now in the first place, my mind is reeling, trying to figure out when I’m going to get everything done. When am I going to get a chance to organize my suitcases upon suitcases filled with clothes? When am I going to get to go grocery shopping for the next couple weeks? When am I going to start compulsively organizing as I know I will at some point? Oh yeah, and I need to get my clothes out of the dryer! But first, I sat down to read an article assigned for the feature writing portion of my class, and it was this article that got me here.

The article was an example of a profile story, telling about the life and noble actions of a woman named Oseola McCarty. Ms. McCarty has spent her entire life laundering clothes for people, making people look nice for events she’s never invited to, events she’s never seen herself. Saving up every dollar she’s earned, Ms. McCarty, in anticipation of her passing sometime soon, has donated $150,000 to the University of Southern Mississippi. Ms. McCarty is determined to give students of southern Mississippi the chance she never had.

Now sitting and looking at the things around me I am in awe of all I take for granted. Too often I find myself focused on the “stuff” of life, the things, the everyday objects, the to-do list that grows ever longer. I let myself get caught up in the things that I “have to have”, not acting on self-restraint in order to benefit others. Ms. McCarty is truly an exemplary individual, completely self-less in all that she does. She is living our daily the Lord’s desire for us to drop everything in order to follow him, because in truth, no number of possessions will ever completely satisfy the desire we have to walk side by side with the Lord.

Lord, help me to remember that it’s not about the “stuff”. Give me patience, humbleness, understanding to clear the clutter from my mind and refocus on what matters most, being in a relationship with you. Give me the strength to let go of the obsession with possessions which so often blocks my ability to see your light in my life. Amen.

Mark 1:16-18, Mk 10:21

- a.e.

Now officially a week into summer I can say I’ve been listening to plenty of those songs. After the stress of final exams, its been these songs that remind me to let loose and relax. Feeling deflated from the pressures of class work, summertime has an enchanting quality that makes you want to jump up and down on your bed and run through the grass with your shoes off, two things I’ll admit I definitely did. Going home for a week and eating home cooked meals, hanging out with my parents and brother and connecting with old high school friends, I couldn’t help but be on a constant high.

It makes complete sense for summertime to be a great time for ascension Sunday in the church calendar. Just as the sights, smells and sounds of summer are the cause of a goofy and unavoidable smile on my face, Jesus’ ascension is a reminder of the incredible gift He was to this world, a gift we can’t help but be excited about. There’s no denying that at times our classes and other responsibilities can make us feel discouraged, and at times our faith may dwindle, seeming less than fervent. But just as summertime gives us renewed enthusiasm, ascension Sunday and the rising of Jesus to the right hand of the Father is a chance to rejuvenate our faith. Remembering the promise of eternal life, ascension Sunday reminds us to take Jesus’ teachings and use our enthusiasm to help rejuvenate the faith of all those around us by being the hands and feet of Christ. With renewed enthusiasm and rejuvenated spirit, there is no doubt that the love of Christ will show in all that you do.

Psalm 118:24, John 16:22

- a.e.

As many of you may or may not know, ever since coming to college I have developed a passion for running. While my mother may call it an obsession, I’ll be the first to say that my days are motivated by my time in the gym, the time that is all mine, to make with it what I want. This has only started bothering me recently however as I struggle to wonder if it really has become a compulsion, as I give up time with friends, meals and study time to make sure I fit it in.

Bringing my concern up in conversation caused me to start to think the real reasons why I run and my willingness to revolve my life around it. Addressing this concern my friend calmly told me, its important to make sure you’re doing things not out of obligation, but thankfulness. Mulling this over for the past couple days, as the belt on the treadmill continuously turns, I’ve come to realize how relevant and important this statement really is.

When I was younger and protested getting up for 8 o’clock church, my mother used the same phrase every week. “No, you don’t have to go, you get to go.” While I didn’t fully understand the truth to this statement until I got older I’ve come to realize it applies to a lot more than getting up for early church. Finishing up a week filled with the burdens of tests, papers and other loose ends its hard to be thankful for the stress and frustration we endure. It’s easy to forget that these things aren’t automatic, they’re an opportunity we’ve been trusted to make the most of. So as you finish up your last exams, let your excitement show just how thankful you are.

Psalm 28:7, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

- a.e.

A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might…

So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sunup  to sundown,his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might!

Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind: (He will do it every time)!

You have been pushing against that rock for a long time and it hasn’t  moved.” Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

Satan said, “Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough.”

That’s what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

“Lord,” he said, “I have labored long and hard in Your Service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked.  Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”

The Lord responded compassionately, “My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed.

But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back shiny and brown; your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard.

Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock”

At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just simple obedience and faith in Him.

By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God Who moves the mountains.

When everything seems to weigh on your shoulders………………………Just P.U.S.H.

When studying for hours gets you down………………………Just P.U.S.H.

When classes aren’t going how you’d like them to……………Just P.U.S.H.

When all your hard work doesn’t seem to pay off……………Just P.U.S.H.

When you’re at a loss and don’t know what to do…………………….Just P.U.S.H.

P = Pray

U = Until

S = Something

H = Happens

1 Corinthians 15:58, Romans 5:3-4

- a.e.

As much as I’d like to say I hate this week, I have to admit that thinking about it makes me smile. I may hate the work load and I may hate the way it makes me feel, over-stressed, over-worked, and running on little to no sleep, but its the little things that make it all worth while. It’s the feeling of conquering web design, and the prospect of making a future out of it that fill me with excitement. It’s the support of my mom and my roommate, making me laugh, as I work on papers and look for their input. It’s the little notes from friends reminding me that my hard work will all pay off, that keep me pushing through to the end.

Despite all the things I feel burdened by, it’s these little things that remind me of God’s presence. While web design is frustrating, God gives me patience, reminding me to celebrate the little victories along the way. When I am frazzled and feel like there’s too much to do, God gives me incredible people to make me laugh, reminding me to live one day at a time. When it feels like the pressure is almost too much, God’s presence is in the thoughtfulness of a note given by a friend, encouraging and pushing me through. While its easy to get caught up in the towering list of to-do’s, sometimes its the little things that make us appreciate God’s presence the most.

Deuteronomy 31:6, Isaiah 41:10

- a.e.